It Could Have Been Me!

15Feb09

Ok, so for whatever reason, starting this new blog has inspired me to go back and read my old blog. Not start to finish exactly, but I’ve been reading posts here and there just for kicks, I guess. In a lot of ways I feel like I’m reading someone else’s blog. It’s almost voyeuristic.

Last night I saw this one that I remembered to be about a heinous meeting with my RE after The Big Bust – IVF#1. I was right about the main topic, but what I didn’t remember was one very shocking detail from the meeting.

During the meeting I found out that I’d probably have to move on to donor eggs because my lady parts were producing huevos that would make Bea Arthur feel like a goddamn debutante. Since we had paid for a 2nd cycle with my eggs, I was stuck with Dr. Pig, so he and I were discussing how to make the best of it.

During that conversation he suggested TOLD me that if I were to produce 6 embryos again he’d just put them all back.

Yep. 6 embryos. Just like ‘Ole Clown Car. At the time I knew it was a bad idea and I would never agree to doing it, but I didn’t have Nadya to illustrate exactly why. I’m just shocked, though. First of all, how could I have forgotten this? And second, who am I to be slagging her for choosing her quack of a doctor when mine was just as bad!?! Especially when there are so many other reasons to slag that stupid beotch:

1.) Clear obsession with babymaking without regard to babyqualityoflifehaving;

2.) Obscene, sharp, dangerous, baby-piercing French manicure.

3.) Lips that weigh more than her babies.

So anyway. He wanted to transfer 6 em effin’ embroys. Of course if you read the post, it was all hypothetical and his assumption was that the entire half doz would be crapola, but STILL! And this was certainly a different situation, since I am old and quite infertile, while she is young and seemingly ripe for the babyhaving. But STILL! There must be loads of doctors out there like Dr. Pig who are anxious to up their live birth rates. After re-reading this post I went to check out the sart.org rates on my clinic and now I totally get it. I don’t think people (including myself back in the dizz-ay) read those stats well enough. I was looking at the live birth rates and occasionally would consider the twin rates. I don’t think I looked at much else.

As it turns out my clinic is insanely high for Average Embryos Transferred. I’ve been randomly clicking around to see what the average number is, and in comparison mine seems nuts. Only the under 35-ers average less than 3 per transfer and over 40’s average 4.5!! Looking at other clinics I don’t see many other averages over 4 and most are between 2 and 3 no matter what the age.

Did anyone else check their clinic’s embryo transfer rates? Am I the only dunce who skimmed over that part? I guess it’s a good thing that only two of my fossil-esque eggs decided to fertilize!

Now, just because my doctor talked about transferring six embryos doesn’t let Not-gelina off the hook. The fact that she and her doctor actually did it was irresponsible and in my opinion, just plain stupid. She has failed (over and over) to realize that her lifetime dream to “be a mom” comes with the inconvenient side effect of… um… PARENTHOOD? And the responsibility to care for these babies for the first 18 years of their lives. To feed, clothe, love, and nurture them all. By herself. Not with the help of Today Show appearance fees or TLC show earnings. Obviously for the sake of the kids she will get much needed help from the community and from the government, but it seems to me like she went into this hoping for just that. Seems wrong to me.

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23 Responses to “It Could Have Been Me!”

  1. 1 Stacey

    “3.) Lips that weigh more than her babies.”…..You seriously almost made me pee my pants!!!! 🙂
    The whole situation is so sad and as I said before, I will be surprised if someone doesn’t step in and take these kids away…it is just nuts.
    I am glad you have documented your struggle, because we do forget all the details over time..
    I, like you, am like, “How in the world could I have forgotten that??”
    I am so thankful you have these sweet babies safely in your arms!!! Hope ya’ll have a great week!

  2. 2 geohde

    Makes me glad I live in a country where I had to argue for a x2 Tx. My clinic averages one in under 35’s.

    J

  3. 3 lifeineden

    So funny. When you mentioned it, I actually do remember reading that post! And how effing crazy you thought he was.

    I know I read those stats, but honestly don’t remember my clinic’s track record. It was pretty conservative though. Typically they only did 2 under 35. Since my #1 failed with 2, and I was on the cusp of just over 35, they threw in my 6-cell embryo for kicks on that last ditch effort. Who knows if that’s one of the Fruit babies? Regardless, I’m glad I was at a really great clinic — especially since it was the only choice in my area!

    “baby-piercing French manicure” … tee hee hee

  4. 4 Christine Bailey

    Fabio!! I love him too! If he doesn’t win the big kahunna.. he will be fan fav for sure. Can’t get enough of TC and Fabio..

  5. 5 southcitysadie

    Thanks for stopping by my blog & checking out the twins!

    I did consider my clinic’s embryo transfer averages, and it was the only one in the area with an average < 3 for women under age 35. Not coincidentally, there is no mandated IF coverage in this state, so I think that makes a lot of people more eager/desperate.

    Having to care for two or more babies at once is very hard, and I really wonder how Ms. Suleman could even consider such a high transfer after having twins. I think she fits the psychological profile of animal hoarders.

  6. 6 Peggy Gorman

    Its funny how you look back and think ,” That was me??”,and then proceed to have a good laugh. Thanks for giving me a good laugh this morning, my coffee ,your egg,lol
    Your babies are beautiful!!

  7. 7 Liz

    I agree – I think this was her twisted way of getting into the spotlight and having everyone take care of her because of a unique situation. Wasn’t there a show following the lives of multiples at one point? Perhaps she saw this as her way into stardom?
    Very sad and of course, it’s always the kids that suffer.

  8. Wow, I am in love with your sassy writing! I’m so glad I stopped over from momlogic.

    What a nightmare with that doctor! I read your other blog post and couldn’t believe him acting like putting 6 embryos in was fine. And what an ass, talking about 40-50 year old women as disgusting. I’ve seen nicer bodies on some older women than younger ones!

    And your comments about Ms. Suleman were hilarious, especially the baby-piercing french manicure.

  9. 9 Valerie C.

    I’m another Mom Logic visitor. I love your post and could not agree with you more about Not-gelina! And by the way…..OMG, your babies are soooo beautiful!!! Thanks for the post. Valerie C. aka LilyBiscuit7

  10. Despite the crazy-doctor similarities – unlike the manicured one you clearly have a grip on reality! Oh, and you’d be more entertaining to watch on TLC, too!
    Congratulations! Your son and daughter are beautiful.

  11. 11 lace

    What very cute babies you have. Just finished reading your 10 things you love post and aren’t baby giggles/belly laughs the best.

  12. I agree! and Your twins are gorgeous so I’m sure you’re happy with “just the two of them!”

  13. I completely agree with what you said about Not-gelina (I love that nickname, btw). I give you so much credit for being able to raise twins.

  14. 14 Julie Spearing

    Hi! I can sort of empathize with you on your baby journey. It took us 3 years both times to have our little darling girls! They are now 5 years old and 6 months old! The first time, I found out that I had a pituitary adenoma, which is a benign growth on your pituitary gland. I had to have surgery to remove it. Then a year later, The LORD allowed us to get pregnant with our first!! I was just about to go on Clomid when I found out that I was pregnant!! GOD is SO good!! The second time, we tried IUI 3 times to NO avail!!! Was pretty un-hopeful about having another and then found out when we were looking into adoption, that I had ANOTHER tumor!! Talk about shocking! The really amazing thing is, we would have not found out that soon, if we had not been looking into adoption, because the adoption places wanted a letter saying that I was tumor free and healthy. I called my neuro-surgeon and they wanted to do an MRI, seeing how it had been 5 years since my last one. And lo and behold, here is another tumor! SO, here we were again, having surgery. A few months later, we decided to try IUI ONE more time. I wasn’t very optimistic to tell you the truth. BUT, The LORD allowed it to work this time and now we have another beautiful daughter!!! There is more to this story, but I have already been too long. You see, GOD had an awesome plan all along, we just had to trust HIM!! I am SO happy for you and your twins! They are beautiful and SO very cute together!!!! I pray you have many joyous times with your family!! May GOD Bless!! Thank you for your time!

  15. Not-gelina!! Hilarious. The more stuff I see about her the more convinced she needs to be in a straight jacket!

  16. 16 susanabanana

    I just stopped by from momlogic… thanks for giving us some insight into the IVF world! I knew Not-gelina had to be crazy, but I had no idea what is considered normal. My babies all came WAY too easily. Especially that third one. oops!

  17. 17 Michele Cook

    Just popping in from Momlogic. I can’t fathom what that Dr was thinking, knowing she had 6 kids already. And her wanting this in the situation she is in. Sheesh….those poor kids.

  18. 18 Karen Koval

    Hi
    I just read your Momlogic blog and I couldn’t agree more that these doctors are very irresponsible. Are they so big-headed that they cannot realize that their actions are affecting the parents and their children for the rest of THEIR lives. And Not-gelina needs a goof psych.

  19. 19 Debbie in Memphis

    Hi! I have to agree that some of the doctors are being totally irresponsible. It really makes me appreciate how blessed we were to be able to conceive naturally.

  20. 20 J-Ko

    such a great post. You’re a great writer!!!

  21. 21 jmolea01

    Thanks for the eye opening (and hilarious) story! I don’t know much about IVF and I didn’t know that the amount of embryos that can be transferred varies so much from agency to agency. There def needs to be some type of regulation!

  22. 22 TMR

    Amen, Sister!

  23. 23 michelle rosborough

    I live in CA and hear a story about “her” daily in the news or the papers


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