Now Hiring

03Apr09

In an effort to provide an economic stimulus to one lucky person, I am now hiring one highly specialized domestic staff person. Nanny? I wish. Housekeeper? Not specialized enough. What could it be, you ask?

Sippy Cup Washer Requirements – can-do attitude, plenty of elbow grease to spare, unquenchable thirst for scrubbing. Special consideration given to those with experience scouring tiny crevices.

I find something almost therapeutic about washing dishes. I really don’t mind doing it and I love the way an empty sink/countertop looks. But I fucking HATE washing sippy cups. I don’t know why. It’s pretty irrational, but, really, what about me is rational? My kids only drink water out of them, so the insides are pretty clean, but given their horrific table highchair manners, the outsides? Are ROUGH. They become so encrusted with the menu del dia that they become opaque and because of repeated droppings on the floor, the dog hair makes them nice and furry. And the little nozzle parts get clogged up and it’s just gross. So I tend to shove them to the side and not wash them, which is really dumb. Because they pile up and the kitchen that I’ve attempted to clean looks like shit because there are hairy plastic cups in a heap next to the sink.

Ok, the Today Sh0w is doing a story on raingear the anchors are sporting some of the gear. I guess that’s a sign that the recession has hit 30 Rock. Don’t they usually hire models for that? Of course Al, has the hugest most assholic umbrella. He would. I fucking hate umbrellas, especially giant golf ones. Oh god, now he’s wearing a beach ball on his head. WTF? Anyway, the little chickie doing the story just tried to insinuate that the rain boots Matt is wearing are “slick” enough that he could wear them in the office. What office would that be? One located in a creek? They are GALOSHES for fuck’s sake. Hello!

So, my Workout Wednesday posts are waning. I am just not good at regular postings, I guess. I’m doing ok with working out. Going to the gym somewhat regularly and walking a lot. And the combination of very busy babies and lack of grocery shopping means I don’t eat much. Lassie, I’ll try to do better, but who knows.

What else, what else… Oh. I’m weaning the rugrats. I’m down to just two nursing sessions a day, first thing in the morning and then after their am nap. I’ll cut that one out next, but it’s only been two days since I ditched the evening feed, so give me a couple days, would ya? I’d love to say it’s going well, but on night two, I had to leave for a meeting, so Bubs put them to bed and Sass tossed herself off the futon while she was having her bottle. Blood, hysterical call to me from Bubs, much crying, and then poor Bubs spent the rest of the evening alone and worried about her. It was just a little cut on her gums and she is totally fine today, but of course I know that if I’d just been nursing her she wouldn’t have fallen off! Oh well, I’m over it. (Wow, that was easy. What kind of person am I?!?) The reason I decided to give up the evening feed before the others is that I really want to go to the Turbo Kick class at the gym, but it’s at 6:30 which is exactly when they go to bed. Hopefully I can trust the husband to put them to bed on his own a couple nights a week without any further bloodshed!?

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One Response to “Now Hiring”

  1. OMG. Your honey puts them to bed?! Mine is never home in time for bedtime. Lucky woman, you. Good to hear that the workout thing is going well – and pushing a double stroller for all of those walks ain’t no small feat either.


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